


On the Way to Missouri

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel, Coda, Dean is Bad at Feelings, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Mary Lives, Season/Series 12, Supportive Mary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 20:37:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8300147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: A coda to S12ep01. What happens as Dean and Cas drive toward Sam's captors and Mary sleeps in the backseat of the Impala.





	

Dean glanced over his shoulder at his mother. She looked exhausted, drained. She wasn’t okay. Mary was the only Winchester with enough balls to admit it. He was used to stowing his feelings, his insecurity. He could hold it together to get Sammy back. Then maybe, just maybe, he’d take a day to himself. Hide out in a dark corner of the bunker with a bottle of Kentucky bourbon and let the silent tears fall until the knots in his stomach came undone.

  


When he turned his head towards Cas, the angel was looking back. “I’m sorry, Dean,” he said quietly. He faced forward and set his jaw.

  


“Sorry for what?”

  


“I promised you one thing, to take care of Sam. I couldn’t even do that.” He cleared his throat and hardened his expression. “But I will smite the woman who took him. I will redeem myself to you.”

  


Dean put his head back and took in a deep breath. “Don’t. Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. Nobody could see that coming. Some British bitch broke into our home, blasted you to the other side of the state, and kidnapped Sammy. This isn’t on you, Cas. This is all on her and when we find her…” he gripped the steering wheel tight. 

  


“Dean, I-” he paused to find the words. “I think we need to talk.”

  


The worst words a man could ever hear. Dean felt himself tense up even more. He took another glance back at Mary. “About what?”

  


‘Don’t worry, she is indeed sleeping. I wouldn’t bring this up in front of her because it would only further your obvious discomfort.” Cas shifted in his seat. “I may have regained my ‘mojo’ as you refer to it, but I feel human emotions just the same. I haven’t been able to properly process them.”

  


Dean’s heart raced and his breathing became a little less even. He wasn’t sure where Cas was going with this but he assumed at least one of them would be hurt.

  


“You were dead. At least I thought you were. My chest felt tight and I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to cry but I tried to be strong for Sam. I had to be a brother to him, to comfort him. It all happened so fast. The fear, the anger...they drove me to come back and fight for Sam. Then you were here and-” Cas wiped away the tears starting to stream from his eyes. “I was overwhelmed again. I had to touch you, to know you were real and not just my grief stricken mind playing tricks on me.”

  


Dean reached a hand over and placed it on Cas’ knee. “Hey, hey I’m here. I came back to you. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, either.”

  


“I must confess something to you.” He looked down at Dean’s hand and covered it with his own. Dean didn’t pull away. “I offered to go with you because I didn’t believe I could go on without you. I feared the grief would overtake me and I would wither and die, myself. But you tasked me with the care of Sam. You gave me a mission and I would honor your final wishes.”

  


“What are trying to tell me, Cas?” Dean’s voice cracked. He already knew the answer.

  


“I fell in love with you. I’m sorry, Dean. I know you don’t reciprocate those feelings but I cannot be dishonest with myself or with you any longer.”

  


“Cas-” Dean drew his name out. “I don’t...crap. I suck at feelings. I mean, I  _ have  _ them and don’t  _ not _ feel something. Damnit.” Dean was rambling. He spotted a motel up ahead and pulled in. He put the car in park and turned toward Cas.

  


He took both of Cas’ hands in his and looked into his eyes. “We’re gonna drop the rule about poking around in my head for a minute. You get what I’m saying?” Cas nodded slowly and concentrated.

  


He was flooded with visions, fantasies, regret from missed moments. The warmth of love and affection Dean experienced when he saw Cas. The smile that sometimes tugged at the corners of his mouth that he tried to hide. He saw how desperately Dean wanted to hold him close and taste his lips when Lucifer was finally expelled. The realization hit him hard and his own heart pounded against his chest. “Dean-”

  


“Cas,” Dean answered at barely above a whisper. They moved forward at the same time, knocking heads and bumping noses. Dean couldn’t help but laugh. Cas cracked a smile too. Dean dropped Cas’ hands and raised his to cradle Cas’ face. He brought their lips together properly this time. The tension in his aching body melted away and it felt like Cas’ grace surged through him.

  


Cas was familiar with kissing. He rather enjoyed it. He opened up for Dean and felt the tip of another tongue against his. It was soft and warm. Dean was being so tender with him that he actually whimpered when the kiss ended. 

  


“My mom, she could wake up any minute.”

  


“I woke up when you stopped the car. Get two rooms if you want to bunk with your boyfriend.”


End file.
